What the fuck are you doing? We’re only exceptionally strong when it comes to children. I am not wrong. A fucking clavicle you can serve soup out of. The Latin phrase is in vino veritas, which means, “in wine, there’s truth,” which is why when girls get drunk, we’re always like, “Can I just tell you a secret?” “I don’t have a neck.” I don’t really make a lot of drunk mistakes but I worry when I make dumb decisions when I’m drunk for this simple fact. And I believe it’s done to keep us in line. But her comedy is also going to make you think - uncommon in today's world of stand-up. Only time will tell... This first book in the My Super Science Heroes series uses a fictionalized storytelling approach to teach readers about Curie's amazing achievements, and is sure to empower them to become superheroes themselves! It makes you look fertile. I turned to fucking stone. That’s what it feels like. It’s exhausting being a girl. When you feel that’s gotta happen, it’s gotta happen now! “Sit the fuck down, Colton, Caleb, Ashton, Crashton, Crandon, whatever your fucking hipster name is, sit down!” Pip-Pop came home from the war and then they had our parents. I’m on the floor. pip-pop got 53 confirmed kills. I don’t understand that. The women are on the bed, bra strap. Your bodies are perfect as they are. Still haven’t blinked. Let’s get rid of the phrase “walk of shame.” What is that one? If he’s hot, it’s just plain old flirting. Remember, you’re half-human. You need to know this about women. She’ll talk your ear off. Just, anything! Stream ad-free or purchase CD's and MP3s now on Amazon.com. You wanna be the kind of thin where your friends… are worried for you. I don’t buy it, okay? It’s not even enough to be skinny, is it? Fred Armisen: Standup For Drummers. Similar. Thursday, Oct. 21 at 10 a.m. PT. You’re a door guy at a busy nightclub, you’ve got a lot to deal with. Fucking…” Girls, it’s like a Mr. Universe, like, “Fucking line up! Meanwhile, to the outside world, it looks like you’re wrestling with a very small bass. For my height, my waist tapers at such an Adonis-like angle.” My dick is so girthy, I can only wear JNCOs.” “It’s hard for me.” These are good things. “Ohhh! Every purchase you make puts money in an artist's pocket. Dallas native, late-night talk show regular and 2008 Last Comic Standing winner (only woman to do so!) It’s a fucking pose-off. I am trying… I can’t… No. “He’s not here. Never breaking eye contact with your prey, I mean your date. I speak for a living and even I mess up, so there’s no way these two fucking dye jobs from ASU with, like, a new take on cookies, there’s no way! You’re listening to the radio. “Not me, I like a strong woman.” Bullshit. That’s what that light is. A Netflix e outras entidades usam cookies e tecnologias semelhantes neste site para recolher informações sobre as suas atividades de navegação, as quais poderemos usar para analisar a sua utilização do site, personalizar os nossos serviços e customizar a nossa publicidade online. So you what? They’re not gonna be like, “No,” they’ll be like, “A cupcake. It’s a reality show. Fun fact about being on the floor. Iliza currently has five stand-up specials streaming on Netflix, including Unveiled, which delves into her journey of getting married and 2018's Elder . I’m an upper-middle-class white woman. Halfway through the second guy, we’d all be like, “Okay, okay, okay, okay!” “It’s sensitive! I wanna see you trip. Huh? It’s not my fault I think that’s attractive. That’s how I felt about that body glitter. Do you ever feel that you can make something work? Shlesinger's third Netflix comedy special, "Confirmed Kills," reflects her evolution and growth as a performer. If you’re not happy, there’s no reason to stay out of fear of being alone. Can’t run from your attacker. Ohh! And I believe that this wave of entitlement started with our grandparents. I want the kind of shoulders where my bra strap just falls down. There’s different kinds of drunk. Why? They have to be attracted to a woman before they can get to know how amazing she is inside. Like, the kind of drunk where you can’t even read. We only allow women to post pictures when they’re a work in progress, right? I'm like, am I raunchy because I've pointed out something that makes you uncomfortable, and I was honest, or am I raunchy because you don't know other words? Set in the modern-day real world, "Ex Machina" tells the story of civil engineer Mitchell Hundred, who becomes America's first living, breathing superhero after a strange accident gives him amazing powers. Recommended for mature readers. Check out Confirmed Kills [Explicit] by Iliza Shlesinger on Amazon Music. I wanna be a mermaid.” You… The amount of escapism that’s in that sentence! Neck vein. I had to say he was good-looking. Do you not understand that? What worries me, I see it a lot and it’s not from children, it’s grown women, like, “I don’t wanna be adult any more. You’re swimming around like, “I don’t care because I’ll have long, flowing hair.” No, you won’t. Both will premiere on Netflix in 2020. if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-studybreaks_com-medrectangle-4-0')};This comedian’s serious moments are long enough to let the message sink in, but before the bit can drag, she brings the humor back in a variety of ways. (adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});She gives a fresh take on immigration in America, at one point even saying, “Oh, sorry I dropped something: the truth.” She tells stories about being poor and happy and about a wonderfully weird and sad fantasy about the boyband “New Kids On the Block,” and her delivery gives her show life. When Danielle's work puts her life in danger, Marcus comes to her rescue. But Danielle may not be the one in need of rescuing... Praise for Anna Harrington: "As steamy as it is luscious. Iliza Shlesinger An absolute legend in the making, Illiza Shlesinger is among the most famous and recognized comedians in the United States. 26-year-old Rachel Monroe has spent her whole life trying to keep a very unusual secret: she can make wishes come true. Like, what are the other options? Wage gap, gotta close that. Keep talking. You gotta get rid of it, right? What do I do when a rapist runs at me? Iliza Shlesinger. Because you weren’t mentally present for any of it. He was born in in 1962 Syracuse, New York, the son of Kathleen. I slept so long, I almost died. One time, my date was an hour late, I grew a tail. Shlesinger recently wrapped a national, 15-city stand-up tour, "Iliza: The Confirmed Kills Tour." Her first book, Girl Logic , will be published in the fall 2017. Join up. As an adult, when you choose to take it to this place, you lose all credibility. You know what fish do? But it seems that the smarter the woman, the longer the last name. “What’s this? There’s sea lice living in your mer-dread because that’s a warm, hospitable environment. What are you… Guard a village. You cannot tell a sister on her something isn’t working. Now what?” What do you mean, “Now what?” Now I shave off an eyebrow and take up with wolves. Iliza Shlesinger. Cut! Why does that make sense? It’s not dissimilar to being a woman in a downtown area. That’s fucking live, bitch. She straight up ghosts at, like, 3:00 a.m. when you’re shit-faced in the back of an Uber, right? The rest of us, it was horrible for most of them. And they’re allowed to say that because, whether you like them or not, our military does such a good job of defending us on a day-to-day basis. You ever go in the ocean? “I just wanna lose, like, five pounds.” We think that’s the answer. Sometimes it’s like, “I’ll just…” Don’t blow on it and… You’re gonna get dysentery, you’ll never finish the Oregon Trail. And have that fish… come in with his fish tooth and just saw off your mer-dread, right? In this sweeping work of narrative science, Levesque shows how astronomers in this scrappy and evolving field are going beyond the machines to infuse creativity and passion into the stars and space and inspires us all to peer skyward in ... So… All I want, all I want, is a live episode of Shark Tank. 4:04 . Whatever you do, Iliza, just sound intelligent.” Instead, what came out of my mouth was, “I gotta find my lip liner, man!” And… what I feel he understood, nay respected, nay… Neigh. But let’s start with something everybody wants to deal with. Yes!” “We can’t… Can we start over?” “No.” “I got nothing.” “Oh, my God, I’m not yelling at you! We don’t have those kind of things. They all sound like this. They have to be… A dude will date a Popsicle stick if it’s got a wig. You’re a lake mermaid? Bits of paper. Image: Iliza Shlesinger. So, we walk into this bar, my first thought… “I gotta fix my lip liner. Wong is one of the more recently popular female comedians. Yeah! There’s not a chili pepper here. You must what? And the expectation of being thin has been put on us for about 100 years. I need a fucking minute! Go! Oh, my God, Pip-Pop, he’s so cute, you guys. So I don’t know what you’re gonna do. No. Because you’re far away. Say FanDuel one more time, motherfucker. "What you see is what you're getting. Your email address will not be published. I am using…” “I am using the vocabulary that Dr. Goldstein told us to use.” “I am requesting…” “that you… hear… my…” “desire… to communicate… in an open way… and put your fucking back against mine! But it has less to do with what a man is yelling at you, and nobody wants to say this, but I will, what it has to do with is the underlying notion that if that man wanted to act on it, he could. War Paint 2013 iliza LIVE 2010 Pauly Shore And Friends (LOL Comedy Festival Series) . I just wanted have shoulders that were so frail and tiny, little bird shoulders. PREVIEW The Pound Sign. So. Yes, it’s a hive. Okay? Maybe you chip a tooth. However, I had a big bag. Because I said he was black. Free word association. I’ll fire up my Pinterest page.” Let me ask you a question. Clothes hanging like moss off a willow tree. Okay? He walks in, I’m on the ground, there’s caboodle shrapnel everywhere. You look at party goblin, she’s loving it. And we’ve all had that moment. I am the stable one! Girls are like, “Oh, my God, I love sleeping.” “None for you. Potato Head. And by the way, there is zero culpability on the part of your party goblin. I’m not making it about me! Do you remember when, um, our country went through a recession, and everybody was losing their homes and their money? But I can’t help you because I’m a girl and I can only fight one fight at a time. I’m a feminist. It’s hard being a girl. Okay? I’m listening.” You’re digging around in there. And, shake, shake, shake, what was left at the bottom? And then, because we’re so hard on women, we’re mean to women when they’re proud of their bodies on Instagram. You will go to jail, but you can do whatever you want. You'll love Curse of the Night Witch if you're looking for: Multicultural books for children (especially Latinx books) Stories based on fascinating mythology Your next favorite fantasy series "Debut author Aster takes inspiration from ... I am not yelling. From now on… Let’s make a pact. What post-apocalyptic gorilla playground… are you gonna find yourself in? The thing is, she doesn't come out when you're like, "It's my birthday, let's go out!" That's true feminism. More time from my research. Iliza Shlesinger: Confirmed Kills She's hunting mermaids Comedy. Don’t call each other whores. You ain’t got no money, shell-tits. Keep it moving!” “I don’t wanna get in a fight!” So, men can do that. Watch the trailer above, see a poster below, and find tour info at iliza.com . It’s physical strength, that’s the root of the issue. Women are like, “I’m making noises, let’s fucking get it over with.” If you care about the girl, you gotta make sure she’s getting what she wants. Like, real up close. And I get it. But… It became okay to say that because we are not spicy, right? Minute to minute, it’s just an adjustment of your hair and your bra and your underwear and your makeup and your mustache, braid it, bead it, set it. Drew Michael: Drew Michael (2018) | Transcript, Drew Michael: Red Blue Green (2021) | Transcript, Mo Amer: Mohammed in Texas (2021) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021) | Transcript. That’s because it doesn’t take a fucking rocket science degree to shit out, like, an okay cupcake. Put your fucking back against mine! I am trying to help! I love being an American. Say something. Bobcat Goldthwait, Actor: Scrooged. It’s 1910, some jacked-up housewife is just putting up weight in her garage. Call me Pip-Pop, I've had worse.'" Yes. It’s right here, like A1 Steak Sauce, it gets you here. Why do you wear high heels? SPOILER ALERT-it's not even a WWII joke, it's about a baby boomer coming home from . Boom, Gladys, let’s fuck.” And then… The baby boomers, ask your parents, were the first generation that were allowed to be artists on a mass scale. But I wear a lab coat while I do it for the tax write-off. She got a makeover. You check your wrist, it’s just a dirty patchwork of entry stamps. She jokes about coming to terms with her new random pubic hairs that can’t be easily explained away by what she did in her youth: “And I can’t say my vagina’s seen some s—.”, Kirkman also has her feelings on being divorced: “It’s really just a legal term that means no one’s farted in my bed in four years.” Her most relatable moments are her opinions on how other people perceive her situation, and she’s just here to roll with it because, “Let’s review, 40, divorced, gray pubes. I swear to Christ, Michaela, if you ruin this for me, I will fuck your husband! Iliza Shlesinger: Confirmed Kills. That’s why you’ve got the stereotype of your Grandpa, “I sit in my chair, I drink my beer, I’ve got the remote, I fought in Korea, don’t fucking talk to me,” right? When do you need to know the form for that? It’s not enough to be thin ever! #IAmNotWrong Okay, so… It’s true. Netflix. Gentlemen! We… I… You know when party goblin gets you by the amount that you sleep. As we’ve seen, unfortunately. By an idiot, but still, ever been called that? But that’s the one that I’d like to see live. It’s gonna be bad-looking. This is for the girls in the audience. Go!” Go! Meanwhile, as a woman, you’re having to come to terms with the seventh layer of hell that is the bottom of your bag. That’s what we like to see. He can’t answer you. Pick them up, put them down, they don’t like it, sprinkle water, “Get it off me.” And the whiter you are, the greater a chance there is that you’ve developed some weird prerogative kitten-like nickname for your grandfather. Our grandparents were called the greatest generation, and I believe that they were. It has to do also with an unrequited, uninvited sexual energy. The baby boomers had generation X. I don’t care about them because I’m a millennial. You ever tried to get the life story of someone sitting on a curb? Sea lice are nipping at your scalp. Like her comedy special’s title, she references the many times she ends up very much in trouble — with her family, the Philippines and the members of a charity dinner. Freezing Hot" and "Confirmed Kills." Iliza's "The Iliza Shlesinger Sketch Show" premiered on Netflix in early 2020. . Grandpa had to fight in World War II. Hope I die that way. But in general… The main points of it, okay? Notice, it’s girls cheering. She recently wrapped up her first 15 city national theatre tour with "Iliza: The Confirmed Kills Tour." Iliza's stand-up credentials also include headlining the coveted Montreal Just For Laughs Festival and The New York Comedy Festival. 77 min 6.4 2016 USA Overview. That’s what we’re doing. She recently wrapped up her first 15 city national theatre tour with "Iliza: The Confirmed Kills Tour." Iliza's stand-up credentials also include headlining the coveted Montreal Just For Laughs Festival and The New York Comedy Festival. Stand-Up Comedy. I am not wrong. Not me! Don’t put it in your… Ohh! Do they even have shoulders? I am trying to keep this family together! In North Carolina, nothing. You ever pass out with your full body weight on your hands, like… No blood in, no blood out. I dropped to my knees on a dance floor, dumped out the bag and start sifting through it like Helen Keller learning how to spell water. Who knows, but either way, it’s hysterical. What are you doing with that muscle, all the horse meat? Don’t let anybody make you feel less than. Iliza Shlesinger is an award-winning comedian and multi-hyphenate actor-writer-producer-author, selling out theatres around the globe with a devoted fanbase. Just the littlest bit. Everybody depends on me because we spent all of our money on our first company and it shat the bed.” “What was your first company?” “I’m gonna tell them.” “I’m gonna tell them and you’re gonna look like the fucking psycho bitch that you are. 2016 | 16+ | 1h 17m | Comedies. She goes on to imagine a "jacked up housewife" in 1910, with a "shaker of horse testosterone and creatine," shoving her husband out of the way because "mama's going to the polls.". You guys aren’t on an ocean, you’re on a lake. Walk of shame. The series will serve as a platform for Iliza's . And it’s a scientific fact that obesity and depression have a direct correlation, and we were just feeding the belly of the beast from within the belly of the beast and capitalizing off of it. Not so much from physical stimulation, but because mentally you’re like… “This is almost done.” And when it is done… we shall go to the farmers market!” You plan out the whole day. It feels like you’re getting shot with a dick gun. What? Kill yourself.” Bullying us on Facebook. IMDb R. Tomatoes. What I’m scared for… What I’m scared about aren’t so much the nightmares clawing at our front and back doors, both politically, foreign, domestic, economical, ecological, whatever. Okay. I should’ve been a mermaid!” Pack your hip! Be smart. What do women do? Physical strength is what counts when it comes to protecting yourself and women are only naturally physically super-human strong when it comes to two things. 13. High heels? That’s the root of the issue, that’s the root of the oppression. Votes: 3,753. English [Original] . I worry for our country. Yet in Elder Millennial, Shlesinger kind of delivers the same jokes about women over and over.As with Confirmed Kills, she details once again how women get ready to go out to the club . Do you ever feel that because you’re not trashy, you can pull off doing something that’s trashy? However, he found my witch over a cauldron behavior… threatening enough to leave his post, flashlight in hand, and walk up to me. © 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Let alone the entire questionable heritage. Comedian Iliza Shlesinger has a lot to say about what it's like to be a lady these days — and what things could have been like in the past. Your entire existence is that of an R. Kelly backup dancer. You’re always doing something. “Hi, Sharks. Cast . Our parents are called the baby boomers because Pip-Pop came home from Normandy and he was like, “I’m not dead. I was like, “I’ll just do a little bit. I’m not advocating for leaving the person you’re with. No one’s ever been like, “Get away from me, you model!” That’s fine. And we tell it to little girls and it sticks with us. Shlesinger's first three specials, War Paint, Freezing Hot, and Confirmed Kills, helped her name become recognized globally and reach where she is today. My sister and I decided that rather than save up or go back to school, we would do what every other girl without a marketable skill did, we… opened up a cupcake company.” “I don’t know if you noticed, but during the recession, there was a fucking boom in the confection industry! When we get ready, we have a list of things we do to reach our most attractive point. I worry for men. ¡y divertidos! Yeah! So now… I look like a goddamn road flare and we’re in public. Chicago! In that moment, I believed fixing my lip liner is what stood between me and eternal happiness, okay? If you cannot make the new date or prefer a refund, you should have received an email with your refund options. silly pip-pop. Comedian Iliza Shlesinger has a lot to say . For readers seeking the warmth of The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend blended with the creative spark of Rachel Joyce, The Fifteen Wonders of Daniel Green explores the unexplainable bonds of family, the everyday wonder of love, and the ... There are three archetypes of women that they like to have on Shark Tank. All the guys are like, “Yeah, I brought her here. If and when the job opportunity presents itself on LinkedIn… you can make an informed decision, okay? # That’s a used toothbrush. Right? Like, what is that? Kill yourself. that was a strong . Of course, Iliza Shlesinger is going to make you laugh - loud, long and often. Maybe you forget your words. ", On addressing serious issues around being a woman. I see you looking.” Girls, if you want respect, you’re gonna have to take it. Now, all the girls are cheering, because in theory, that’s empowering. Your crowing achievement of the evening is that you didn’t die. The constant eye contact being a reminder that, yes, I can multitask and keep talking. Iliza's last Netflix special, 2018's Elder Millennial , is the subject of Iliza Shlesinger : Over & Over , her "fan-u-mentary" which is currently streaming and gives fans an inside look into what goes into the making of one of her specials. Based on the hit Netflix show from the head writer of Avatar: The Last Airbender, this humorous, in-world notebook has everything a fan needs to know about the magical world of The Dragon Prince! In the long run, we’re battling our weight, hair color, wrinkles. Just swimming through the nineties. No, it’s just… That’s what I want, I want no shoulders. So think about that. My name’s Michelle-Lida-Julia Freeman-Cereal.” “And I’m Rebecca-Lynn-Stacey Fitzgerald-Yang. Excuse me. "Sit the fuck down, Colton, Caleb, Ashton, Crashton, Crandon . The Comedy Lineup. It’s physical strength. Iliza's scripted web series on the ABC app, "Forever 31," has been ordered for a second season, and her third comedy special "Confirmed Kills" is currently available And then you're like, "Oh my god, I woke up in Tijuana. Mr. Peanut Legs coming out six seconds ahead of you. I’m not yelling at you. “The natives called it maize. And you might not be comfortable with it. Your email address will not be published. I didn’t need that reminder. I'm not brash, and I think people with lack of a better vocabulary will say things like, "Oh, you're raunchy." Like, “No!” “They will see the whites of my eyes!” Everything has to be perfect. It’s not like guys today who’d be like, “Oh, I just wanna backpack around Oregon and find myself.” No! Screw it! “Why are you single?” “Because the last one was a dick and I’m not stupid.” Like, that’s why you do it. And I know that TSA blows. And the rope thing. If you have to crane your neck up to explain yourself, you are fucked, okay? I’m sorry! Still gotta get rid of that mer-dread because it’s a hazard, so what do you do? Bill Burr: You People Are All the Same. You have to do what they do in the animal kingdom. Seven or eight seconds go by, which in girl years is, like, forever, I cannot find my lip liner. I’m two different women, it’s fine. There’s a very specific way that women will search for something when we have a big bag. What do you do? They’ll have very smart woman on the show. It’s so stupid. We get it! And she will awaken… when she hears you say… “I guess I’ll just come out for one drink.” “I’ll just come out for one because I have to be up early.” Eat that sandwich out of the garbage and text your ex-boyfriend that you love him then turn your phone off! And I’m not trying to be a bitch, but it’s probably not gonna happen for you. Yeah, we cheer for ourselves. I work hard to stay removed from the world of weddings, nightclubs, and biological clocks but I can't deny that Iliza Shlesinger's Netflix specials on those topics like Confirmed Kills and . Skip to main content. Silly Pip-Pop.” Pip-Pop’s got 53 confirmed kills! “I’m taking a class.” Love classes. I just watch TV. In September 2016, Iliza premiered her latest Netflix special, Confirmed Kills, which finds the comedian in top form, tackling poignant topics while not trading on laughs. Sometimes it feels like the hotter the woman, the dumber the product. Because he then gave me the international verbal sign for, “I respect you and fear you, I’m going to back off,” which is… “A’ight, then.” And he just walked away. Shlesinger says she doesn't love the label "female comic" — she says she competes with men all the time, but if you must compare her act to other female stand ups, there is a difference: While she does riff on being a woman, she doesn't make a lot of jokes about sex. Look at any Instagram picture of more than four women. Hoarder! Maybe talk a crab to death. Like, it doesn’t matter. Nobody wants to hear the prerogative of someone on the floor. Pip Pop has 53 confirmed kills, you f*cking brat!" Overall, it ranked as the best Lipshtick series show I've seen, the combined effort of two very strong performers. She might — but she comes out on the night where you're like, "I'll just have one drink." Beat your best time. But I was like, “I’m gonna put it on my face, make it dainty.” Do you ever feel that? There’s an entire sustainable maritime ecosystem attached to your fucking head. Never out of a Civic for some reason. I’m canning my own shit now. You drag it around. stops by Houston's House of Blues on January 19 for her Confirmed . Jen Kirkman is one of the female comedians who discusses getting older and how her married friends are more worried about her being alone than she is. It’s fine. Dudes don’t care. Jennifer Lopez came out of nowhere with the backside of a brontosaurus, like… “Que paso?” And it became attractive. Marry me. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. This series is scientifically vetted and promoted by the Marie Curie Alumni Association, which promotes the worldwide advancement of knowledge. One sunny day in June 1912, a new super science hero was born. What’s the shame in the fact that he and I went out, we had the same amount of vodka, he got too drunk to get it up, so he passed out, then I used his credit card to buy $100 worth of Chinese and stole his golf clubs? I like my body, but I always… Everybody wants to change something, right? The Tracking Board writes that Schlesinger's "Truth & Iliza" will debut May 2 on Freeform and its digital platforms. I wanted to see how a truly original comedy mind works. Now what?” There’s none of that. They selflessly gave and they made this country the idea of America that a lot of us miss. Why can’t we make them with retractable lids that don’t break off? We have big brains. I need a minute!” “I just need a minute! Just stay there. Excuse me. That’s what I want. It really has less to do with the disgusting thing a man feels he has the right to yell at you out of van or a truck. I want that. Seems to be the face of thinly-veiled political correctness in our country, if you say someone’s color, other than white, you must assign them an accolade, deserved or otherwise, to prove that you’re not racist, when in the first place, I wasn’t fucking racist, I was giving you an accurate depiction of the events that transpired. A live episode. You can leave the house out naked. So he Shreks up to me… And I feel his presence and I see the ball of light and I hear his voice and he goes, “Everything a’ight over here?” Fucking no, dude, everything is most definitely not a’ight. It’s not shit. That is a husk of a man… depleted of all bodily fluids… incapable of giving you the answer you deserve. No tail but just half… “Long flowing mermaid hair.” You’re not gonna have that. Her past specials include War Paint, Freezing Hot, Confirmed Kills, and Elder Millennial. You must what? When you have a hyphenated last name, all that makes me think is that mama was a big old strong lesbian and she didn’t wanna give up her family inheritance so she begrudgingly married your father, now they have separate twin beds and are co-women’s studies professors at Wellesley. Follows Drew Michael and his issues with relationships, social media, and comedy as therapy. So this is the story of one such night. It’s stupid. There’s no grit to them. I should’ve looked it up before the taping but I’m just trying to tell you some jokes and I think I’ve done a pretty good job. It was, like, in my other bag. That’s why it’s tough, because you wanna be a feminist, like, “I don’t have to get ready for a man,” but that’s what they’re attracted to. Who here took marine biology? It’s the best feeling. Comedians who will take The Mirage Theater stage include George Lopez, Daniel Tosh, Bill Maher, Ray Romano and David Spade, Bob Marley, Jim Jefferies . Iliza's fourth special titled Elder Millennial was released on Netflix today and, in honor of the occasion, Iliza has also created the ultimate playlist of all the trashy pop music from the 2000 . Now, you’re swimming all day, you’re probably pretty hungry, right? And if you want respect, you have to command respect, not demand it. Keep going.” Five more minutes later, “Maybe I’ll bring a little bit down here and highlight the jawbone so he knows I, what, come from good chewing stock?” Five more minutes later, sparkle fish! Ow!” Digging around. Listen to your favorite songs from Confirmed Kills by Iliza Shlesinger Now. 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